today ... a very normal day!! wel atleast thats how it started off..

i woke up extremly early.. had an exam well two to be more specific..

im guessing i passed..

barely got any sleep last night.. but coped quite alright...

a good freind had just come bak from being away for quite a while.. it was refreshing talking to her.. catchng up.. old tymes.. made me think of how i was and who and where i stood in my life aproximately a year ago..

surprizingly i hadnt accomplished much this year!!

i dont rember what made me so sucessful in my own eyes last year.. but wat i do rember is being contended with where i stood..

human nature always seeks for more..

im guessing i seeked what i had no knowledge of.. went forward to it thinkng the next step i life will be the place where i want to be.. but now being there i had wished.. i hadnt stepped this deep..

baby footsteps they say is the way to go, thats the pace i shud hav strode at ..

thinking my life through i reliazed i wander around aimlessly.. trying to pass each day as it goes.. less tears than i shed the day before..

n my head i know what i want in my furtue the image seems to be so faboulous and refined just for me.. but applying al this isnt that easy..

not going int he pace that i strode n before giving a sense of weaknss as if life is pulling me bak..

the big question is..

is this a reason for me to work harder fight whati feel is wrong but go ahead with it because its whati have in mind..

or go bak to the things i had before.. the simple life that lept as simple smile on my face..

regrets maybe a feew.. whos to balme. no one but myself

i had recnetly upset a good freind i would more likely call a sister.. priorites needed to be se once in for all everything was turing into a mess.. life needed to be set straignt soon i hope i hav and will show that to her..

actons do speak louder than words.. but one does loose sight of whats realy going on.. being blinded by love can be a reason.. but can never can be an excuse..

i hav been putting up with alot from this specific person.. very dear to me.. captured my heart indeed.. how much to put up wiht.. amd i putting up with it because i care or because im scacred of how things will be without this person.. addictioon is it.. a habit.. or whati really want,, i really dont know but everyday i hav the heart to move on but moving on is that the word being constantly reminded..

?whud this person put upwith half of what i put up big question? remains unaswered.. and needs to be put at test..

but why the trouble.. why the risk of a heart break? stay where you are. you never know it might be the better place of where you want to be. or think you want to be.. as i said before human nature never really contented.. always seeking more...

call me greedyy.. but i seek hapiness of heart..

loosing myself isnt the place i thoght i would be.. and isnt whee i think i am.. but i think is the nextt step in the path im going towards..

change is dificult.. but is for the best sometimes...

painful expreiences make one realize who they are and what really matters to each of us as indivisual.. and more like who matters.

people all react in different ways..

differnt ways of elaborating on how each indiisual and how they feell..

but is this just a simple excuse or is it a fact that im stating..

effection does appear when times are rough..

do people react due to the sense of guilt that hits them if they dont.. or if they want to themselves out of their nature towards you..

do people act to please you or to lie you your face

do people act into smiling and manipulating you or leading you into a path they belive is better advisable..

all i know is things need to be differnet. need to be chaged.. change is good and bad... desiosns are all mine.. change is what i seek..

where .. how ... ill leav it for that moment to decide...

follow my heart is where i should be

if your heart is happy..

your mind will eventually settledown contended..

no heart burns.. no reminders of the unwanted.. dont live in denial just live the way you feel is right

dont love the life you live .. live the life you love.. <3

IZZIE XOXO